I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
