She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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