well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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