2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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