worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
