don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
