oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
