what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
