I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize
