I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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