When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
