lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
