I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
