I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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