I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
