Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
