she smelled like a LAN party
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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