omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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