i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
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