I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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