If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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