Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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