did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
