I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
