You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
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