The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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