I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
