I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Randomize
