ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
