I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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