he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
