i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
