it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
