Do you still have your period?
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
