He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
