My hand turned me down
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
