How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
