Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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