so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize