Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
