1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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