so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Are we still banned from the library?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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