i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
