Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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