i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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