i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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