I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
