you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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