So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
