Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
