You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
