my sisters under your porch take her home
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
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