On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
