is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
This can only be settled by a dance off.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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