Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
