It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
