drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize